HAPPINESS AS A ROLE VS. TRUE HAPPINESS

 

Following is from the book of A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

 

HAPPINESS AS A ROLE VS. TRUE HAPPINESS

“How are you?” “Just great. Couldn’t be better.” True or false?

In many cases, happiness is a role people play, and behind the

smiling façade, there is a great deal of pain. Depression,

breakdowns, and overreactions are common when unhappiness is

covered up behind a smiling exterior and brilliant white teeth,

when there is denial, sometimes even to one’s self, that there is

much unhappiness.

“Just fine” is a role the ego plays more commonly in America

than in certain other countries where being and looking miserable

is almost the norm and therefore more socially acceptable. It is

probably an exaggeration, but I am told that in the capital of one

Nordic country you run the risk of being arrested for drunken

behavior if you smile at strangers in the street.

If there is unhappiness in you, first you need to acknowledge

that it is there. But don’t say, “I’m unhappy.” Unhappiness has

nothing to do with who you are. Say: “There is unhappiness in

me.” Then investigate it. A situation you find yourself in may have

something to do with it. Action may be required to change the

situation or remove yourself from it. If there is nothing you can do,

face what is and say, “Well, right now, this is how it is. I can either

accept it, or make myself miserable.” The primary cause of

unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be

aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the

situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is

the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead

of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, “I am

ruined” is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking

effective action. “I have fifty cents left in my bank account” is a

fact, Facing facts is always empowering. Be aware that what you

think, to a large extent, creates the emotions that you feel. See the

link between your thinking and your emotions. Rather than being

your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.

Don’t seek happiness. If you seek it, you won’t find it, because

seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive,

but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is

rather than making up stories about it. Unhappiness covers up your

natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true

happiness.